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Your Smile Is Made Of Vanished Days

by A Tape Collage For Eloise

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1.
I walked alone to see the sad scene unfold They were there beneath the ground With their hands sticking out Like little trees reaching for the sun Reaching for the old days all gone I found a grave and I lay down And let the soil fall around Your wayward dad in the empty light you had Once in a dream beneath the wrapping paper trees He sung you a song and played a violin along He was brave He was strong He was there and he was gone
2.
Well the consequential dawn Sadly fell against the door I remember seldom nights with you But that was all before Unknown to my poor self You knocked against my shell With intent to wake a sleeping soul But no such soul awoke Just echoes through the smoke And when migrant cuckoo's dive From the laughter of the sky It is hard to make them fly again It is hard to make them fly And when winter threw it's shoes Into the corner of my room I looked back through the mutoscope And I thought that I saw you But you were distant and dilute So I turned my face away Into the shivering afternoon
3.
Why have you gone? I miss your laughter Dust settled on Your bleached skeleton Leak tape hiss tears You cannot rewind Sad marionette Dance out of time I don't mind I don't mind Smile like a knife Cutting through me We'll lie to your mum 'Cause she hated me And waste our last years Falling apart Sound disappears From your worn out Dictaphone heart Dictaphone heart
4.
It feels like nettle stings as the glass like promises of sunlight dissolve in the trees There is a white balloon caught in the branches along with lengths of rope and tattered polythene Up there too hang the garments of a wasted youth Too high to reach now, too far up for these old bones to climb We’d do better to stay down here and rake the scattered polaroid’s into piles like fallen autumn leaves Then burrow into them and hide for just a little while Disappear into some perfect haunted summer that trembles in the past
5.
These unspeakable words fall out of time While children cover their eyes This unseeable scene The women cry And the soldiers come in Baring cigarettes and bayonets and breaking hearts? And the killing starts Focus is lost on the screen The camera tilts The girls can't scream We cut out their tongues They saw the ghosts in the woods And just turned away They stole the perfect blue sky From a summers day Do what you're told because you're scared Pretend you are not there
6.
Corridors 02:58
Please unrake all the leaves And quietly lose everything Who's there to process the film when you die? Undeveloped and unseen In this broken building where your lungs were born Leave them here to decompose with the kettle on We're all forgotten hospitals anyway; Long nostalgic corridors of fading paint With a burning sadness Raise a toast to the ghost of nuclear winter When they broke your heart Behind those sad and salty seafront façades Below the raucous static of the gulls above In a broken tape machine The hijacked hallowed days Of torn up skater jeans and acne speckled honesty Are captured but can never be replayed
7.
All the awnings spilled their guts of tea-stained leaves Upon the morning's quaking hands and creaking knees A patina of better times upon my face Your voice still wanders through the halls of this old place And I don't ever want to hear those words again Watch the old days grow and grow and then turn away And now the house will not be home on rainy days I feel the weeds climb up my legs to strangle me

about

This album was assembled using a decade old version of the free recording software, Audacity, which doesn't really work properly any more, as well as a Ferguson 3262 Cassette Recorder, a Pearlcorder S711 Microcassette Dictaphone and a couple of old barely functional reel-to-reels. I am listing these mediums partly because they inform the sound of the album and partly as an attempt to direct blame upon my tools. I am indeed a poor workman.

Some of these songs survived multiple hard-drive crashes, rain coming in through the ceiling and complete mental breakdown.

credits

released October 30, 2015

Things you will regret hearing on this album are as follows: Voice, Acoustic Guitar, Casio and Roland Pianos, Rewired Casiotone MT-65, Bowed Saw, Accordion, Glockenspiel, Toy Piano, Yamaha PSS-9, Telecaster, Bass, Boss Dr-550, Korg Volca Beats, Sleigh Bells, Tambourine, Radiogramme.

Thanks to Jamie for providing me with the Casio Piano used on tracks 1, 2, 7 & 8 and the Yamaha PSS-9 used in the intro to track 3.

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A Tape Collage For Eloise UK

Scarborough based lo-fi recording project.

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